Always Missing

Today we went out to dinner.  It was nice, Ollie was behaving well and flirting with the waitress.  Afterwards, we went to get frozen yogurt.  We walked with Ollie, each of us holding one of his hands.  And I thought to myself, what a lovely evening.  It would have been perfect if Delilah were here too. 

Happy Third Birthday

My sweet girl. Today you would have turned three.  I think it would have been a big step.  Not so much a toddler butt a little girl. We would busted out all the Calico Critters that I had gotten for you.  I would have lived watching you play house with your little families.  Your little brother would have probably tried to eat some of your toys but I think you have figured out how to let him know gently, no.  I think about you often.  About all the fun things that we missed out on.  Your little play kitchen in the kitchen as I make lunch you would "help." 
We took your brother to the park the other day.  He likes going up to little girls.  It's like he knows that you were supposed to be here, his precious sister. 
I love you Delilah.  I hope you know that.  No matter what, you have a huge piece of my heart with you. 
We got you a balloon, two. One we kept, the other we wrote you some messages and sent them to you.  Aunty Karen sent you flowers again.  We got you a cup cake,  Ollie enjoyed some on your behalf.  This year I found a cow at the Gentle Barn named Delilah; I send her what I would have spent on your birthday present.  I think you would laugh that a cow has the sane name as you. 
Happy Birthday my darling daughter.  Love you so much Delilah. 

The numbers...

In 9 days you should have been turning 3.
If you had been born 4 days earlier you might have been here today.
In 10 days it will be 3 years since I last held you. 
1086 days without you.
Thousands of diapers I never got to change.
Gallons of milk I never got to feed you.
Countless tears that I have shed.
I missed you Delilah.