Lately it's been the only thing I've been thinking about. Baby! I want to be pregnant, so very badly. Nothing else matters, nothing! It's all I want that is possible. I want to feel my baby growing inside of me again. I want to feel that bond and warmth. I want to get to know another little person and nurture them and learn about their strage food desired. Delilah loved sour/tart things, probably because she was so sweet herself :) Lately I've been feeling more and more crushed everytime I see that we are not pregnant. I break dowm for days with each negative test, temperature dip and onset of the bitch. Eash month I get less and less hopeful.
This month is the last chance for a 2014 Rainbow. And it's alright, I'm trying to not let if drive me insane, we can only try our best and cross our fingers and toes and anything else that'll cross. I think I've accepted that I will most likely not have a 2014 Rainbow. Yea it'll suck but I don't wanna put that much stress on myself.
I'll just have to keep on trying and keep preparing the nursery and making it perfect for Delilah's sibling whenever it is time for that to happen.
What breaks my heart is that lately, I've been feeling fantom kicks. I haven't had those in forever. It'l like my body wants it so badly, it's trying to trick itself.
Gotta stop and step aside, and breathe, one day, one day.
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