I feel like a huge jack ass sometimes. Rainbow babies are amazing! And when people get their big fat positives, it's great. I am super happy for they. Really, I am. But sometimes, I get a little jealous, why coucn't I have gotten mine that quickly? Why can't everyone. It's stupid really, but it's something that make me feel bad for even thinking.
Another Blog that I've been reading, the woman on there is about to have her Rainbow, on the day that Delilah died. I am very happy for the woman, her writting has helped me through so much, but seeing her so happy sometimes makes me so sad. I wish I were not this way, I wish that I could be a good person and look past all the small things.
My therapist told me to live in the now more, stop over thinking things and dwelling on the past, it's difficult.
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