I still think of you every day my sweet girl. My Delilah. Sometimes, I feel guilty about being so happy with your little brother. I think that you would not want me to be sad and would want me to enjoy this wonderful little boy that you sent to me. And I do, I love him and appreciate your hand in us having Oliver. There are quiet moments though, when my mind dull goes to dark places and I think of the day that we lost you. I still blame myself for not knowing that something was wrong. I still blame the hospital for not knowing something was wrong in L&D. I miss you, miss what I imagine that you would have been like. I imagine you, I close my eyes and pretend that you are here, you kiss you little brother, you love him so much. You are his little protector. Then I realize that what I imagine is probably true. Sometimes, Ollie laughs in his sleepthen he smiles, he smiles like her us so happy. I think it's because you are visiting him in his dreams. You guys play and he get to experience what he will not get to here on earth. He gets to play with his big sister, he gets hugs and kisses from her. I'm envious sometimes. I've never really had those kinds of dreams, sometimes I feel that you blame me for what happened do you don't see me. I love you Delilah. I always will. Thank you for being Oliver's living big sister.
