Delilah has attended two weddings. She was a tiny little one growilng in me at her first wedding. We drove all the way down to Ontario, CA and my husband had to stop at a bunch of rest stops for me to pee. I felt to gassy like I needed to burp but couldn't. But I was happy, because Delilah was there and she was everything.
The second Wedding was my sister in law, she got knocked up and was having a shot gun wedding... Delilah was starting to make her presence known then. I had a bit up a bump, but my dress mostly covered her. My father inlaw decided to announce to the whole freaking place that we were pregnant. Thanks a lot.
This would have been the first wedding that Delilah would have been out for, dressed in a pretty dress, bow in her hair. I would have been sitting near the back by an isle so we could step out if she cried. My sweet little girl would have looked so adorable. She would have kept me company while her daddy was off busy being a groomsman. I'll be by myself tomorrow. I volunteered to help with setting up to keep busy, we'll see how that goes. The brides's friends will be there. There were two women due around the same time as us. They will be there with their babies.
I don't know how I will handle the whole thing, im not in a cheerful wedding mood, not really in a mood to be happy at all. Life sucks sometimes. I'm glad that our firendsa re getting married, but I don't want to go, I don't want to get dressed up and pretend to be cheerful. I don't want to be anything...
I wish that she could be there with me, sitting on my lap, all excited and watching all the people, the pretty lights and decorations, but no. That will not be the case, at least not physically. I love you Delilah, I miss you.
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