A Great Big Sister

Dear Delialh,
I love you my sweet little girl.  I can imagine you in our home running around and playing.  Your hair is tied up in pig tails.  You might not have know exactly what was about to happen, but you would have been a great big sister.  In about four and a half months you would become a big sister and become our big girl, a two year old.  You would have kissed your baby brother on the forehead and peaked at him through the slats on his crib.  Baby "Groot" is missing out by not having you in his life, we are missing out.
This weekend I caught a glimpse of what might have been.  Little N is about the same age you would have been.  She's getting a little brother too, due about the same time yours is.  I saw her playing, and interacting with her mom and dad.  Oh I my heart ached for you my sweet little girl.  It broke me, what should have been, what could have been.  I cried all night on Sunday, I could not stop mourning the life we could have had together.  I miss you my sweet little girl. 
I still feel like I failed you.  I failed you and will fail your little brother too, I do not deserve happiness.  You would not want me to feel this way though.  You would hold my hand and hug me, kiss me cheek and tell me it's not my fault, that you don't blame me.  I love you Delilah.  I love you so much.
Love Mommy