Yesterday my dad turned 59. Last year on his birthday he was so happy when I told him that he was going to be a grandpa. This year I sit at his birthday dinner without his grand daughter in my arms. I realized after dinner on the way home that I hate family get togethers. It reminds me that I failed. I failed to safely bring my precious daughter into this world. My beuatiful little Delilah is not here in my arms like she should be. I am a failure. Lately I can't get my mind off of her final moments. How she tried so hard. She was tough and determined to give us what ever time she could manage. The ultra sound technician said that she was stubborn when she refused to move out of the way so he could get a clear picture of the placenta. I had a partial previa at the beginning of the pregnacy. Who knew that would be the evil lurking monster around the corner. The girl is stubborn. Hopefully her stubborness will pay off and she'll get to come back as my next child. I live for you Delilah. I love you.
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