Things we wish we did

I was in Delilah's room the other day. I go in there often to touch her things and think about her.  I miss her so much.  I see her growing collection of books, books that I had only started buying after I lost her. 
They make me think of all the things that I wish we had done.   I wish that I had talked to her more when she was still in my uterus.  I wish we had read to her.  That my husband had spent more time with his hand on my tummy talking to her instead of watching car videos on his phone.  I wish we had interacted with her more. 
We did take some time every week though to take a belly photo.  That was something my husband wanted to do and I'm so grateful to him for that.  I had also wanted to take some of those cute couple photos while pregnant.  Where mom and dad made a heart shape with their hand over the baby bump.  Where dad held mom and looked so proud of his growing little one.  I had bugged him a bunch of times toward the end of the pregnacy.  Everytime he was tired or he needed a hair cut.  We never did take those photos. 
Regret is something that sits heavily on your chest when you lose your baby.  All the what ifs but this post is mot about that.  I realized that despite all the things that I wish I had done with Delilah on board and by my side, we did do a lot. 
We attended two weddings, test drove a car, changed departments at work.  We found a yummy new restaurant thanks to a Belgium waffle craving.  We saw a giant cinnamon roll.  We put together her glider.  I was sad that I never gpt to hold her and rock her on it; but, I realized that I did.  We rocked on it for a little bit after we put it together.
It's so easy to get caught up in all the things we missed out on.  That we only have bits and pieces of fifteen hours.  I often times forget that we also had nine beautiful months together.  I am grateful for that.  I got to know the most loving and beautiful little baby girl ever.  Yes, I'm selfish.  I wish I had more time but who wouldn't.  Bit on those difficult days, I've been having a lot of those lately, I have to take comfort in the time we did have.  I love my Delilah and she loved me.