7 Signs Your Baby Loves You...

Today I got one of those automated emails from babycenter.com.  The headline was "7 Signs Your Baby Loves You"
At first I got a little sad, I don't have Delilah physically with me... no signs.  But then I thought to myself, of course she loves me.  My Delilah fought so hard and she  was so resiliant.  We were separated for most of the time she was alive, there were so many times when we could have lost her.  So many times where I would have missed out on the gift it was to be able to cold her and cuddle her to offer her confort and love. 

1.  When Delilah was born, she was not breathing, she coded in the ER right after they got her out of me.  She was not breathing for almost ten minutes but she showed other signs of life which prompted the Pediatrics team to not give up on her, they eventually got a heartbeat.  My baby loves me so much she forced her heart to work for me. 

2.  When I was still under general anesthesia  she could have slipped away, she was severly anemic and not clotting, she was bleeding out everything that was going in through transfusion.  Delilah managed to stabilize herself, somehow with the help of the doctors she managed to "start to do a little better"  My baby loves me so much managed to give me hope despite her not being in the best of health.

3.  When she was transferred to Oakland Kaiser we were separated for many hours and she was by herself and alone.  She could have slipped away at any point.  My baby loves me so much she stayed alive when she was all by herself. 

4.  I got to see her for a minute or two when she was being transferred out of the Walnut Creek hospital.  But that was all too brief.  When I got to the Oakland Hospital I was all alone as my husband had not gotten there yet.  I wanted to go see her but my mind was going crazy, I could not think and the nurse was doing intake on me.  It was a few hours before I got to go see her for some quality time.  When I got to go see her, I got to tough her and talk to her.  My baby loves me so much that she waited for me and made me feel such joy and love when we were together.

5.  After the long day we had, we were both extremely tired, I was exhausted from being in labor from 6 that morning, the painkiller and my surgery. We were exhaused but I was afraid to leave her side. The nurses told us she should be okay and that we should go get some rest. My baby loves me so much that she let us rest a little before the most difficult moment of our lives. 

6.  At like 6 in the morning, the doctor came to get us, he said that she was not doing so well anymore and would probably slip away soon. When we got downstairs to hold her, she opened her eyes, and we met each other and saw each other for the first and only time. My baby loves me so much that she gifted me with getting to look into her soul.

7.  My baby loves me so much because she is my baby.  I carried her for nine months and she filled my life with happiness and love.  I felt joy and life was beautiful.  Thank you for loving me Delilah, I hope you know how much I love you too.