When something tragic happens, that is when you know who your friends are. They are the ones who check in on you and let you be yourself, they do not force you to pretend and make you feel like anything you are feeling is out of line. They don't suggest that you "see someone." I have a small cluster of friends, and I realized that some of them are not who they pretend to be. Some friends showed up out of the blue and proved that even though I thought we were not that close, they care. Some just want to be "postive" all the time and I feel like those friends can be let go.
Recently some friends of mine had their babies. I was happy for them, it did leave me with a feeling of sadness and being left out. These are rainbow babies they both has losses one full term like mine and one early mc. I am very happy for them that they have their little ones now. I want my little one too. I want my Delilah back. I miss her so much. My little sweetpea they were all gonna play together.
I wonder if I am a good friend. I say that I don't need some of my friends but I also feel that I don't try anymore. I don't care about anything and I don't make an effort to keep friends. It would be easier to let go and just be by myself with my husband.
But no. Delilah would mot want that. What about all the nice aunts and uncles that cried for her that also loved her. It's difficult but I have to try.
No comments:
Post a Comment