Today we will be meeting with the doctors who delivered and took care of Delilah. I've been waiting to ask questions and maybe understand what happened more. I'm also scared. After this they won't care anymore. My little girl will be nothing more to them than blight on their records. I don't want her to fade away. She is as real to me today as she was when she was still alive. I love my baby girl and I miss her so much.
Update: After the visit.
Thursday we had our "Meeting" with the doctors and pathologist. The pediatrician, obstetrician, and pathologist were very kind, they answered our questions about what happened.
Delilah had bled out through the placenta, her blood circulated into the placenta but the placenta did not put it back into her. They said she was not in pain when this happened, when she came out she had lost so much blood and even after multiple blood transfusions, it was a miracle that she she was alive at all. The said feto-maternal hemorrhage occurs 1 in every 5,000 to 10,000 and in the severe cases most babies are still born.
I was lucky that I had time at all with Delilah, I was lucky that I got to hold her in my arms and comfort her, that we got to look into each other's eyes and that we got to say goodbye to each other. My darling baby was so strong for holding on and fighting to stay alive so we would have our time together.
I thanked the obstetrician for getting her out so quickly and the pediatrician for stabilizing her as much as they could. I thanked them for helping Delilah so that we could have that time, although short, much needed time.
That night during my nightly "Goodnight" to Delilah I thanked her for fighting. I know now more than ever that Delilah was a fighter, she was strong and tried her best to stay alive so that we would be able to see who was on the other side of the belly. I believe that we are fated to be together, one day, hopefully her soul will come back to us and be our baby again.
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