bad day

I tell myself there are good days and bad.  I've just gotta muster through the bad ones.  Today was definitely a very bad day.  I spent most of last night crying and eventually took some melatonin and "sleepy time" tea to calm myself down and go to sleep.  I woke up this morning and cried some more then fell asleep on the rest of the ride to Bart.  On my way out to lunch I decided that I didn't feel like eating and spent lunch softly crying at my desk. 
Just a few years ago I never knew anyone who lost a baby.  Then a friend at work lost his baby at full term.  That made me cry and scared me.  When we got pregnant, that was in the back of my mind but I didn't think it would happen to us too. 
The pediatrician that was with Delilah told me that they don't really get too many full term babies passing away in the NICU.  Now I read on a forum, that I read and contribute to, about so many babies having to say goodbye to their parents.  It's shocking how many babies die.  It never really hit home until the day my baby passed away.