I remember during the course of my pregnancy there were just nights when I could not fall asleep. But those nights were not so bad as I had Delilah with me. And she made everything better. Now I am encountering those sleepness nights more and more often. I lay in bed and think... my mind wanders to dark places. But nowadays, where is there light. I sometimes feel like a wraith. Excuse my LOTR reference but when Frodo puts on the one ring at the tower when the Nazgul have surrounded them. The world of shadows. That is my world, all the beauty and color has washed away. I exist. I live to pass time. I work to support myself. I eat to stay alive. Sometimes there are glimpses of color, sepia tone moment, it's moving toward normal. I feel grey. It's 1:39 in the morning and I have to get up at 6:30 for work. I miss my baby. The world doesn't feel right without her in it.
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