Hollow

Lately I've been feeling very hollow.  It feels like all the things that made me Me was washed away with the deluge of sadness that followed Delilah's passing.It's been three months and people who are connected to Delilah seem to be "moving on" and becoming more "normal."  I can't/won't let go and by doing that I'm falling apart, I'm being deconstructed from the core and rebuilt into something that I don't recognize, someone that I don't know if I like very much. 
A lot of times whem my husband and I are on the couch watching television I will be cradeling Daffodil instead of watching whatever is on.  Yesterday was the series finale of The Office.  My husband was watching and laughing and crying, and really enjoying the program.  He asked me why I wasn't watching, I told him that I didn't care anymore.  I don't enjoy all the shows that I used to watch, things that used to make me sad don't anymore. 
I used to be a gamer, was playing on my PS3 a lot during the pregnacy, Delilah and I finished a lot of games in those nine months.  I haven't played anything since we said goodbye. 
My friends, I feel are slipping away, they are happy and I just don't want to be that right now.  I don't care about anything.  I don't want to hear about their kids and how so and so is graduating soon.  Guess what Delilah will never wear a cap and gown, she never even got to wear any of the outfits we had bought her. 
Right now I need to reconfigure my life, I feel like I'm stuck and am not sure where to go.  I miss my baby but it feels like I'm not supposed to talk about her anymore.  Even my husband seems less sad now.  I still have crying spells where I end up choking and coughing.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I'm alive and going through all the motions of life but I don't want to participate.  Tag, you're it.  no thank you.