Thank you Delilah

Recently a really kind person referred me to an awesome blog.  The Momma writing is very inspirational.  Even in her darkest time she still seems hopeful and is not forgetting the happiness and joy that her baby brought her.  She is not succumbing to the darkness. http://meetbabydub.wordpress.com/

After reading her blog I realized some things:
 -I should cherish every moment I had with Delilah, not just the 15 hours I had with her after she was born but those beautiful nine months that I had with her.  Every precious kick and jab, the pokey heel of her foot, knee or elbow pressing out my belly button.  Now every time I look at my half inny/outie belly button I should think of Delilah and her happy little dance parties she used to have in my belly.
-Delilah made me a nicer person, she managed to teach me patience and to be nicer to other people.  It was like she somehow managed to turn off the mean button.  I didn't get as mad at crazy drivers, I didn't lose my temper at customers.  She taught me happiness, I was smiling all the time.  I was talking to people.  Now I hide and avoid people at work, my hopeful vision of the future has to my feet where I look to avoid the looks of others.  I am sad and cry all the time.
-Delilah was a fighter, she fought to live and survive.  She was tough, she even managed to find the energy to open her big brown eyes and look me in the eyes.

I need to honor my daughter, I need to do right by her, not just doing things on her behalf but taking care of her family.  I need to remember the lessons she taught me.  I need to find happy again and not let the sadness take over, I need to be strong like her and make her proud.  I need to concentrate on the happy times.  It will be hard but I need to start trying harder, I'll make you proud baby girl and not forget the lessons that you taught me.